


Years || Klance

by GrannyPidge



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Grades, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Panic Attacks, Partying, Sad, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2018-11-12 11:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11160717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrannyPidge/pseuds/GrannyPidge
Summary: Sixteen years. Sixteen years of darkness, mystery and sadness. Sixteen years of pain and hatred.Lance McClain; Sixteen. Suicidal, neglected and deemed invisible to society.Keith Kogane; Sixteen. Obsessed with good grades, his family and status.Sixteen years after they are born. Two people meet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an original series which will only be posted on Ao3 and not my Wattpad account :)

My birth parents had always said to themselves, 'we'll wait until the birth to find out the gender. It doesn't matter if our child is a boy or a girl'.

So, as agreed, they waited until I was born to see the results. However, deep down, my parents must have wanted a baby girl. 

I, much to their disappointment, was not a girl.

"May we give up our baby and set him up for adoption?"

The hospital helped arrange the service and I always wondered how every individual member of staff felt.

If they perhaps would have stopped it; if their conscience overpowered their training and actions.

However, this was sixteen years ago. Sixteen painful years.

::::::::::::::::

"Lance, what would 'x' be in this equation?" Mr. Varkon asks me.

I stop biting my black pen and look up from my blank sheet of paper. As I stare at the equation on the board it starts to go blurry.

Despite me getting into a high tier Maths class I know I'm nowhere near capable of achieving higher than a U.

"Sir, I do not know." I mumble. "Lance, you need to answer. All semester you haven't got a single question right."

I feel all eyes on me and my throat begins to burn. At this moment the board is nothing more than a smudge. 

I set my pen down and rub my eyes. "Six." I randomly guess. Mr. Varkon sighs and the class is in complete silence.

"Well . . . I'll be speaking to you shortly. Now, Keith, please answer and explain how to solve this, would you?"

I glance over at Keith. I only know a few facts about him, despite his popularity.

Many people at school say he is obsessed with grades and I can personally say I am aware of that. Keith has never got less than an A* in any tests in Maths and Geography - the two classes I have with him.

Another thing students say is that he doesn't like being referred to as Kogane and much prefers Keith. Since I have never spoken to him there has never been any reason for me to apply that, though.

"Seventeen. This is due t-" I stop listening. There isn't any point of me trying to understand.

Why do I need to understand anything in the first place?

Mr. Varkon will kick me out of high tier Maths. I've never got higher than 8% in any of my tests.

That may go the same for most of my other subjects, but for some reason I am still in this education system.

I bite on my pen lid once again and tap on my book. It seems like only a matter of moments, but when I decide to glance back at the board the Class have done three more examples.

I hear some noise in the back and I pinch my temple. It isn't the person making the noise; I just get angered easily.

Mr. Varkon instructs us to get a textbook to do examples and I move across the classroom and pick the most beaten, neglected and abused textbook that everyone avoids at all costs.

I carry it back to my desk and smile at it for a brief, calming moment. I turn to page 484 and start the exercise by peering at the first equation and copying it into my book.

I, once again, bite my pen lid and stare at the writing on my page. "The answer is 2. I'll show you how to work it out."

I look beside me to see Keith setting his books and supplies on the small area of desk beside where I'm located.

He grabs coloured pens and uses them to annotate the question as an example. "It may look daunting, but with practice you'll understand."

I try the second question and push my book forwards as a way to signal him to check. I can never bring myself to ask for help.

He analyses it, rotating the book to get a better view. I stare at my pen as if it is the most fascinating thing I have ever seen.

"You did it. Congratulations." Mr. Varkon comes over and calls me out of class after Keith tells me I answered correctly.

"Now . . .  Keith will be sitting beside you and helping when needed . . . You need to make an effort to speak to him or your grades won't get any better."

I nod. "Please learn to pay attention in class. Also, your work needs to be to an acceptable standard." I walk into the classroom and back to my chair without a single word.

"I can tutor you after school. When would you next be free, McClain?"  
"Oh, well, I actually go by Lance."

I look down. "My name. Lance McClain. I hate the McClain part. You understand, right, Keith?"

He doesn't reply, so I speak up again. "I don't think I'll be free."  
"Why? Surely you can be free at least an hour a week."  
"I don't think I'll be free."

I repeat myself, hoping he'll accept it, but it doesn't end up that way. "Why does everyone always lie to me?"

I gulp and look at the smaller boy. "I didn't mean it like tha-"  
"I just want to help you. Why won't you let me?" He says in a threatening manner.

I'm noticing myself getting nervous and say what comes to mind. "Thursday, after school. I'll meet you at the gates."


	2. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance goes to a party and Keith is no fun and is a mean meanie

I was still up for adoption. At this point in time my brain was already telling me, 'nobody wants to adopt you.'

Then, as if by chance, a man and a woman requested to see a group of children. I was included in this miniscule amount and they decided to pick me.

Their names were Allura and Coran; around their late thirties or early fourties and, as I was so small, they looked like giants.

They filled all the paperwork in and I was set in the car. I still remember the sick, yet happy, feeling I experienced.

Then, I was taken to their house. They had a son who was seven. As soon as I was inside the house their son hit me.

"Lotor, no." Coran scolded. At the time I didn't realise the new situation and simply began to cry.

::::::::::::::::

I see Keith waiting outside of my English class minutes before the final bell rings. I pack away my items and leave class when we get permission. 

Keith moves close to me. "Where are we going to study?" He asks me. We exit the building and that's when I give him my reply.

"We're not really going to study. There's a party Hunk is hosting and they'll all be drunk by the time I get there. I can walk in and help myself."

I turn right at the school gate and Keith grabs my arm. "We are definitely not going to a party."  
"I'll go by myself."

I grab my phone to check the time. "We're going to study. You need to raise your grades."

His tone sounds serious and I turn another corner, remembering the route to Hunk's house.

"It'll only take half an hour." I say. "To get there?"  
"Of course. You can't simply stay half an hour when you're there."

Despite the boy arguing with me about the study session he follows me to the party.

There is already a strong scent of alcohol followed by some drugs which makes Keith cough. "Lance, this is a bad idea."

I take a bottle of vodka from a table and chug the last quarter of the bottle down; only to cough violently after.

"No, we should leave." I can barely hear him over the cheers of the already drunk people.

I walk around the living room to find another bottle. I find a half empty bottle and pick it up. 

I shove it in front of Keith's face and smirk. "Try some."  
"I can't. We're underage."

I laugh. "Just do it." He has a delayed reaction, but soon takes the bottle from my hand. 

His lips come in contact with the mouth of the bottle and he only has a sip before he quickly moves it away.

"How can you drink that?" I hear a plate smash in the distance and sigh. "Suit yourself."

I take the bottle from his small hands and start drinking. I move the bottle back after I get a chug and set the bottle down. 

"Lance, you've already had a lot. Is this normal?" I laugh, but Keith has a serious face.

Pidge takes some Doritos out of the fridge and places them in a bowl on the table. 

"Let's eat." I say, half drunk, half sober. I drag him to the dining table and grab a shaky handful.

I eat one and laugh. "You look drunk. We should stop." I shake my head and throw my handful of crisps at Keith.

Music begins to blast throughout the house and I move my head up and down. "I'll take you to the door." 

This time Keith grabs my hand, but whenever I see everyone dancing in the living room I use all my strength to escape the tight grip and join in.

Everything happens so fast. My head and the World around me spins. Everyone's face is blurry and before I realise it I down another part of a bottle.

It's taken out of my hand and I laugh, looking to see a blurry figure. They have a distinct scent of alcohol on them.

The bottle is dropped and the two of us start to dance. I try to get a better look at the face, but end up being kissed before I can see who it is.

I kiss back in the heat of the moment, but get pulled back when the mystery person begins to lift up my shirt. "That's enough. We're getting out of here."

I feel the cold air from outside and continue to listen to the music at such a high volume level.

I fall and throw up. "Why do you go to these?" My ears start to ring and I'm being helped up.

My legs are shaking and every time I take a step they feel ready to fall off. "No! I want my legs!" I scream.

I fall again, hitting my head off the concrete.

*-----*

"It's about time you woke up." I open my eyes then feel pain mostly at my forehead.

"That party must have been intense." Something hits my face and I grab it. "Revision." I open my maths book.

"Do you have paracetamol?" I ask. "It's downstairs. Do you want water with it or juice?"  
"Water."

He leaves the room and I rush to the window. When I realise we're on the third floor I dismiss my escape plan and sit back down.

He eventually comes back up and hands me two tablets and water. I stare at the tablets for a moment of time.

"What are you doing, Lance?" He asks. "What did I do at the party? I scratch my head.

"You drank lots of alcohol and threw Doritos at me." He says. "What else? You look like you're hiding something."

He gulps and then drinks some water. "You and Hunk. . . Made out?"

My face goes completely red and my heart begins to beat faster than usual. 

I sit there, thinking of the key words. Hunk. Me. Kiss. "I never thought he swung that way. All the girls are head over heels for him." He says.

Keith slowly raises a finger. "Wait. . . Does that make you gay?" I simply stare at him.

"You totally are. You can't deny it." He still has his smirk. "I'm not interested in guys." I finally say, but gulp almost after.

Keith sighs. "Well, it looked like both you and Hunk didn't mind it."  
"We were both drunk."

I finally grab the water and take the tablets and he hands me a book.


	3. Chapter 3

I remember growing up clearly. My family spent their time with each other and excluded me often, probably because I was adopted and not part of their family.

My Mum left just over a month I was adopted, so my Dad and Brother were the only people I really had.

When I turned eleven my Brother had disappeared. Two weeks later we found his body. A week following, we received news that Mum had killed herself after a decade of not seeing her.

Alcohol bottles began an increasing issue in the house. My Dad found enjoyment in it. Shortly after, he realised he was in debt and released his anger on me.

\----

"What is this? A diary or something?"  
"Of course not, silly. It's revision notes. Whilst you were passed out I managed to finish notes I've been working on for the last few days."

He takes me by surprise. "You genuinely want to help me study?" He takes yet another small sip of his water.

"Yeah. Thanks to Mr. Varkon I've finally got the chance to speak to you." I look up at Keith and then notice a photo frame behind him.

I go up to it, half dizzy, and get a closer look at it. "This is a nice photo."

He walks beside me. "It's one of my favourite photos. The girl is called Amber. We used to be really good friends, but when I was accepted into this school and she wasn't our contact and friendship instantly broke down."

I put the photo down. "She really wanted to go here." He walks off and picks up a camera. "Let's take a photo together."

His hand moves as a signal for me to join him. Keith focuses the camera and we both smile, though my neck is sore from leaning over so awkwardly.

He connects it to a wireless printer and the photo prints out. I pass him the scissors and the Power Tack.

The photo of us goes on the wall, alongside around a dozen other photos.

I look at all the people with him. "You must really like photography." I say as I notice another, but with the theme of nature.

Keith nods and picks one. "This is probably my favourite." There is a meadow of flowers.

The colour is a mixture of green, orange, red and some pink. "I took it three years ago with my parents."

He carefully places it back on the wall then the two of us sit back down. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

His hand extends to his cup, but doesn't rise due to him waiting for my question.

"On Tuesday you said 'why do people always lie to me?' And I want to know what that meant."

His mouth parts. "I . . . Well, maybe that story is for another day." I'm, once again, surprised.

"I guess it was silly of me to ask when we've barely known each other." I check my watch.

"What time is it, Lance?"   
"Quarter to seven."  
"Shouldn't you be heading back?"  
"I told them I was staying over with a friend for a project."

After a few minutes of awkward silence Keith speaks up. "I'll make us dinner."

We walk downstairs - or he aids me down them as I am still dizzy - and he checks the fridge.

"You're OK with meat, right?" I want to say yes, as it's the truth, but my mind tells me to try and act cool. "Nope. I'm a vegetarian."

He freezes momentarily. "I may have to go to the shops then." I gulp, instantly feeling ashamed. "I was only joking, Keith."

He sighs. "That's a relief, then." He heats up the oven and then sets two chicken pies in.

At this point I've turned the TV onto Liar Game and when the next episode is just about to start Keith sits down beside me.

I glance down at him twiddling her thumbs and he shifts. "Hey, Lance." He turns the TV down.

"I was in class and TJ was talking about you. He said something along the lines of 'Lance assulted the transfer student on Saturday morning'."

I go to speak, but he raises a finger. "Emmie Penn also said you 'tried to get in her pants' and then Kaori Nakashima also said it."

he lowers his finger. "Though, that's not true, now, is it?" I shake my head. "Good. We're on good terms, then."

A quiet vibrating noise comes from the side of me and he grabs hid phone. He sits still and I ask what's wrong.

In a response his phone is placed in front of me.

Hunk  
Active Now

Is Lance with you? I want to speak to him.

I read the message three times and Keith entrusts me with the phone. I reply, despite it not being my account.

Keith:  
Yes.

Hunk:  
Can you pass him your phone?

Keith:  
I already have it.

Hunk is requesting a video chat.

I accept and tell Keith I'm going to his room, wanting privacy. As I walk up the stairs my heart begins to beat faster and faster.

I sit on the bed and hold the phone so he can see me. I look at him and notice his smile.

"Do you know why I'm ringing you?" His deep voice asks.  "I think so. Is it about the kiss?"

A small laugh comes from him. "So . . . The Mullet told you?"  
"Yeah. I asked what happened."

The line goes silent for a while. "What else did he say about it?"  
"Nothing much apart from 'us liking it'."

I let out a nervous chuckle and look to Hunk again. He rubs his eyes, probably just due to tiredness. "So, you were too drunk to remember our kiss?"

I go silent for a couple of seconds. "I guess so. You were too, though, right?" I watch his reaction.

He scratches his head. "Actually . . . I was fully sober." My eyes widen. "What? So-"  
"Yes. I kissed you intentionally."

How? I'm the person everyone ignores. Unless it's to cause drama nobody remembers I even go to the same school as them.

I start to stumble on my words, completely embarrassed and shocked. "You kissed back, McClain."  
"Please. Call me Lance."

Hunk moves from his chair to his bed. "I know this may sound strange, especially since we haven't spoken that much since last year, but-"

He pauses and looks down. My heart is beating rapidly and he finishes his sentence. "-I really love you."

My mouth parts. "This- this isn't a joke isn't?" I whimper, tears threatening to fall.

"I wouldn't do that to you. Please, Lance, go out with me."


	4. Chapter 4

By the time I had just turned 12 the debt increased dramatically. My Dad did whatever to not pay off the debt, but to buy more alcohol.

I was involved in this, having around four clients a day making me do anything they wanted.

As a result, I missed quite a lot of school. I then never bothered the days I did go; it just seemed like more work I had to do.

I skipped gym, too, because I was too scared to change in front of my class in fear of them seeing what these 'clients' and myself did to me.

\----

I knock on Hunk's door and he opens it almost immediately. I hand him a bag full of snacks before I take my shoes off. 

His house has a distinct smell of lavender and it makes me relax a lot. "Just leave your shoes by the cabinet." He instructs.

I do exactly as and then walk to the microwave where he prepares popcorn. Eventually, the individual popping to me slows down so he takes the bag out.

We sit at the sofa and share the bag of popcorn whilst watching BGT.

Before we know it, the entire episode is over and the bag - and the three other bags - are all gone.

Cold fingers touch my cheek and I turn around. Hunk kisses me and I smile, feeling happy, but that takes a turn for the worst.

:::::::::::

I miss school on Monday and sit in the darkness of my room. "Lance? Lance? Lance? Lance? Lance?"

The name continues to be screamed, so I eventually walk to my front door in my T-rex onsie.

There stands a familiar boy. "How did you find my address?" I yell. "Well . . ." Keith looks around, walks in and closes the door.

"My Mum is the headmistress." My eyes widen. "WHAT?" He stares at me. "Anyway, why didn't you come in today?"

I release a shaky sigh then bust out in tears. "Huh? Lance?" Keith also starts to tear up.

"Remember the call from Hunk?" Keith nods slowly, trying to remember. "Well, he invited me to his house. It was fun; we watched BGT and had popcorn, but then he kissed me."

I wipe my tears. "Did that upset you, Lance?"  
"Not really, I was actually quite happy when he did."  
"Then why are you crying?"  
"It progressed from a kiss."  
"Did he-"

Before he can ask I whimper an answer. "I didn't want to . . ." The room goes silent. "Lance? I'm here for you, I know." He hands me a bag and I open it.

"Pringles. I'm spending the night with you. I also bought bubblegum soda drinks." I open the tub of Texas BBQ Pringles and the tears fall again.

"Keith, let's go to a party tonight. Shay is hosting it." I take a handful of Pringles after and eat them, one at a time.

His response takes a while to come. "Lance . . . You need to stop the parties. Don't you realise they're slowly killing you?"  
"That's what I want."  
"What? I don't understand."  
"I want them to kill me."

He takes a while to process that. "I won't let you die. You're my all; my only friend."

I move the tub to him and he takes a crisp. "Thanks, Lance." We sit side by side. I tense up a little and he notices.

"I won't touch you, Lance. I'm truly sorry about what happened with Hunk, but just remember I'm not like that. I won't ever hurt you. Ever."

My mood changes and I feel slightly better. "You said your Mum is the Headmistress? Does that mean you know a lot of the curriculum?"

He freezes. "Don't tell anyone, please." He looks down. "I know what goes on the tests. I see every question."

My eyes widen. "So you know what's on them?" He nods slowly. "They get sent to my Mum and she approves. She also lets me see them."

Now it's his turn to cry. "Please. Don't tell anybody. Please. Please."   
"I won't, Ko-."

I try to correct his name, but he snaps. "Don't call me that!"  
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

He starts crying heavily and I feel myself rise with fear. "Why, if you don't mind me asking?"

I wait for him to calm down and he looks at me. "Once again, don't tell anyone." I nod. "Two years ago I began dating someone. His name was Shiro."

He releases a shaky breath. "One day, Shiro kissed me. I kissed back, but forgot I was in a public area. Someone from the school noticed and spread it around school."

Keith gulps. "Two days after, I began receiving random messages on my phone, locker and desks. Shiro got them, too,  though a lot worse. He was even physically hit, unlike me."

He wipes his newly formed tears. "Then I got a phone call. All that was said was, 'Kogane, I love you'. It was only two hours after the call that I found out Shiro killed himself."

By now, he's crying so much it's prevented him from talking. I lean over and hug him. He rests his head on my shoulder.

"Keith, I'm so sorry."  
"Just . . . Please don't die on me, Lance."


	5. Chapter 4

By the time I had just turned 12 the debt increased dramatically. My Dad did whatever to not pay off the debt, but to buy more alcohol.

I was involved in this, having around four clients a day making me do anything they wanted.

As a result, I missed quite a lot of school. I then never bothered the days I did go; it just seemed like more work I had to do.

I skipped gym, too, because I was too scared to change in front of my class in fear of them seeing what these 'clients' and myself did to me.

I knock on Hunk's door and he opens it almost immediately. I hand him a bag full of snacks before I take my shoes off. 

His house has a distinct smell of lavender and it makes me relax a lot. "Just leave your shoes by the cabinet." He instructs.

I do exactly as and then walk to the microwave where he prepares popcorn. Eventually, the individual popping to me slows down so he takes the bag out.

We sit at the sofa and share the bag of popcorn whilst watching BGT.

Before we know it, the entire episode is over and the bag - and the three other bags - are all gone.

Cold fingers touch my cheek and I turn around. Hunk kisses me and I smile, feeling happy, but that takes a turn for the worst.

:::::::::::

I miss school on Monday and sit in the darkness of my room. "Lance? Lance? Lance? Lance? Lance?"

The name continues to be screamed, so I eventually walk to my front door in my T-rex onsie.

There stands a familiar boy. "How did you find my address?" I yell. "Well . . ." Keith looks around, walks in and closes the door.

"My Mum is the headmistress." My eyes widen. "WHAT?" He stares at me. "Anyway, why didn't you come in today?"

I release a shaky sigh then bust out in tears. "Huh? Lance?" Keith also starts to tear up.

"Remember the call from Hunk?" Keith nods slowly, trying to remember. "Well, he invited me to his house. It was fun; we watched BGT and had popcorn, but then he kissed me."

I wipe my tears. "Did that upset you, Lance?"  
"Not really, I was actually quite happy when he did."  
"Then why are you crying?"  
"It progressed from a kiss."  
"Did he-"

Before he can ask I whimper an answer. "I didn't want to . . ." The room goes silent. "Lance? I'm here for you, I know." He hands me a bag and I open it.

"Pringles. I'm spending the night with you. I also bought bubblegum soda drinks." I open the tub of Texas BBQ Pringles and the tears fall again.

"Keith, let's go to a party tonight. Shay is hosting it." I take a handful of Pringles after and eat them, one at a time.

His response takes a while to come. "Lance . . . You need to stop the parties. Don't you realise they're slowly killing you?"  
"That's what I want."  
"What? I don't understand."  
"I want them to kill me."

He takes a while to process that. "I won't let you die. You're my all; my only friend."

I move the tub to him and he takes a crisp. "Thanks, Lance." We sit side by side. I tense up a little and he notices.

"I won't touch you, Lance. I'm truly sorry about what happened with Hunk, but just remember I'm not like that. I won't ever hurt you. Ever."

My mood changes and I feel slightly better. "You said your Mum is the Headmistress? Does that mean you know a lot of the curriculum?"

He freezes. "Don't tell anyone, please." He looks down. "I know what goes on the tests. I see every question."

My eyes widen. "So you know what's on them?" He nods slowly. "They get sent to my Mum and she approves. She also lets me see them."

Now it's his turn to cry. "Please. Don't tell anybody. Please. Please."   
"I won't, Ko-."

I try to correct his name, but he snaps. "Don't call me that!"  
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

He starts crying heavily and I feel myself rise with fear. "Why, if you don't mind me asking?"

I wait for him to calm down and he looks at me. "Once again, don't tell anyone." I nod. "Two years ago I began dating someone. His name was Shiro."

He releases a shaky breath. "One day, Shiro kissed me. I kissed back, but forgot I was in a public area. Someone from the school noticed and spread it around school."

Keith gulps. "Two days after, I began receiving random messages on my phone, locker and desks. Shiro got them, too,  though a lot worse. He was even physically hit, unlike me."

He wipes his newly formed tears. "Then I got a phone call. All that was said was, 'Kogane, I love you'. It was only two hours after the call that I found out Shiro killed himself."

By now, he's crying so much it's prevented him from talking. I lean over and hug him. He rests his head on my shoulder.

"Keith, I'm so sorry."  
"Just . . . Please don't die on me, Lance."


	6. Happy birthday, Lance McMeme

I clearly remember the day I realised something was terribly wrong. Well, 'terribly wrong' wouldn't be a good thing to use - especially when it benefitted me.

I heard knocking on the front door. I assumed these were the clients, but the issue was that they were still knocking five minutes later.

My Dad never usually took this long to answer the door. I grabbed a broken pipe from the corner of the room and, when I felt like I had the strength, slammed it into the door.

It cracked the wood, but Dad didn't come to hit me. In fact, he didn't respond at all. I ignored the noise at the front door, which got louder due to the noise I made, and looked for my Dad.

There he was, laying on the floor. To the left of him was a bottle of alcohol with the contents fallen out and staining the carpet. Then, to his right was some powder mix.

I grabbed the phone and rang the police and ambulance. I knew my Dad was dead and that there was no hope for him, but it still felt respectable.

The police eventually came and took me into custody. They placed me in this youth hostel where I could connect with other kids with the same experience. 

That was when I met Hunk. He had some issues with his parents. They kicked him out after finding out he was bisexual and they disowned him.

When I turned 16 I decided to move out into a new house and have a new fresh start. I enrolled in school, but since I was out of education for so long I wasn't sure what any topics were about.

My grades dropped and I began to believe it's just due to my stupidity. This thought kind of stuck in my head.

•••••

I wake up beside Keith. He's snoring gently and is holding a penguin cuddly toy. His black hair is messy, most likely due to him moving about so much, and his pyjamas have pictures of giraffes printed all over them.

I look down to my T-rex onsie and then it dawns on me. I shared a bed with someone and I'm not scared.

I look beside me again. Still no fear. Keith wakes up after hearing my shaky sigh. "Is something wrong, Keith?"  
"I'm not scared."

He cocks his head to the side and has a puzzling look. "We shared a bed, but I wasn't scared."

He forms a smile. "That's great, Lance!" He hugs me. 

No fear.

"Keith? Just to clarify . . . are we friends?"  
"If you want to be."

Keith breaks the hug and looks at me. "Do you want to be friends, Lance?" I simply focus on his features.

Keith patiently waits for an answer, but I stall it severely as I pay attention to his face in a lot of detail. "Lance, are you feeling ill?"

I softly shake my head. "OK. Good. So, how about we be friends?" My hand automatically goes to hold Keith's cheek and I lean in.

Our lips connect, but Keith moves back almost instantly. "I'm sorry. It made me think of Shiro."

I release a shaky breath, "yeah. Let's be friends." I try to think about the events which already happened this morning.

My mind tells me to stop it and to not trust Keith.

He'll be like everyone else.

Keith climbs out of bed seconds before I begin to silently cry. As he leaves to make breakfast I clamber out of bed and proceed to my private bedroom.

I take out a bottle of alcohol and place it on my lips. My cries get louder, but not loud enough for Keith to hear.

Gradually the first bottle depletes and I grab hold of the second. I'm shaky and nervous.

What if Keith comes in?

Without wanting to think of more scenarios I steadily down my second bottle before rummaging through my bathroom drawers.

I try to be as quiet as possible to ensure Keith doesn't hear, until I finally find the all so familiar silver object hidden under the rubber gloves.


	7. Whoops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update rip

I wince as my eyes open due to the light, but immediately dart them open when I hear a simple cry.

"Lance. . ." My focus turns to Keith. "Why? Why, Lance? I thought you were going to. . . to die. . ." tears flow down his face at a rapid pace.

Another figure walks over and my breath hitches. "Kati-"  
"Lance, how could you?"

She hugs me and we cry in unison. "I'm so sorry, Katie, I'm so sorry!" I yell. She gently pushes me away.

"Lance, I've changed. Please call me Pidge now."  
"Is this because of the scandal?"

Pidge stiffens and eventually nods. "Here's my phone number. If you need to talk to me I'll not hesitate to pick up. Remember, you're as close to family as I have."

She hugs me once more and then turns to Keith. "He's been here ensuring you're safe; barely slept a wink, Lance. He's definitely a keeper."

I blush heavily and Pidge gives me a smirk. "Well, I'll be on my way." She leaves Keith and I in the room.

"Was this because of me, Lance?" Keith mumbles. "No, why would it be?"  
"When you kissed me I didn't accept it and then, you know. . . I found you barely breathing in the bathroom."

I gulp, immensely ashamed of trying to end my life. "I cleaned up the blood and threw all the sharp objects away, too."

Keith moves closer and hugs me. "I just can't get over this. . ." he hugs me tighter and then gently examines my left arm.

I watch as the tears fall from his face. I glance at the bandages and feel shame, but remember that Keith was the one who had to endure it when it was untreated.

"I'm sorry." My voice cracks almost immediately and Keith remains silent as he traces his index finger along my arm. 

"You didn't need to go through that, Keith. I'm such a horrible person." He slowly lets go of my arm. "You aren't." Keith finally admits.

"But, Lance, why?" He can barely bring himself to ask the question. "I was scared of being happy." I eventually reply.

"Listen, Lance, you deserve to be happy." he sits on the end of the bed and kisses me. I carefully wrap my arms around him and kiss back. 

Surprisingly, he deepens the kiss and moves slightly closer to me on the bed. Keith pulls away for a brief second and I use this chance to question him.

"I did like you from the start, which is why I feel terrible about rejecting your kiss before. . . all this . . . so I want to let you know how I truly feel."

Our lips connect again after Keith moves the quilt previously covering me. He sits on me, careful to not sit in any injured areas, and runs his fingers through my hair.

His hands trail to my shirt and he takes it of within a matter of seconds. "Have you ever done swimming?" he asks me. "Yeah. I did it for nearly a year."

He pecks my lips quickly. "How can you be so handsome?" He whispers in my ear. I lift up his shirt and trace my fingers along his torso. 

In immediate response he kisses me again, much more violently, and quietly breathes my name a few times.

"Can I?" He eventually asks. I give him a small kiss as consent and he releases a shaky, nervous laugh.

I convince him everything is OK and a small voice emerges. "Lance, Keith? I forgot my Rover, hav-"

Keith instantly grabs the quilt and shields us from Pidge to the point where only our faces are visible. 

"Have you two, uh, seen Rover?" Pidge stands at the door in shock as she tries to work out what to say.

"Is that your alien thing?" I ask nervously whilst clinging onto the quilt.

"It was, well, yeah."   
"It's by the coat hangers." Keith replies.

Pidge nods, retrieves Rover and then leaves.

"I should be going. . ." Keith mumbles as he quickly slips his shirt on. "I'll see you later, Lance."


End file.
